Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Why I should race cars

I have what some might call a questionable driving record, but in my opinion, its just bad luck.
Tickets: I have received one speeding ticket. I was 17 and on my way home from a college visit with my Mom when I was pulled over for going 87 in a 70 driving a white Plymouth Grand Voyager in the middle of Kentucky.  As the flashers came on, I started to curse, waking my mom in the passenger seat. The cop seemed a little disturbed that my mother was with me, but he had no problem writing the ticket. My parents paid the ticket and told me it was my one "get out of jail free" pass.
White Lighting
Not everyone has such an uneventful ticketing story.  One of my friends got pulled over in college and was so flustered she gave the cop her library card and health insurance card.  He gave her a warning.  Another friend called her mom before the cop even got to her window and was crying and heaving so much, she got a warning and the cop made someone else drive. 
Wrecks:
I have been in 3 wrecks and totaled one car, but never deployed the airbag, called an ambulance or paid a dime. Ok, so maybe that's good luck. You decide. Here we go:
Wreck 1: May 2007 - Returning to work from lunch I was crossing over a bridge with a concrete wall. A landscaping truck carrying mulch started to drift into my lane and hit my drivers side door as soon as we got off the bridge.  Apparently he didn't see me.  Yes, I said it was a mulch truck, which usually causes people to immediately think of this scene in Back to the Future. 



Biff gets in a wreck
I assure you, it was not like this. The mulch was piled in bags, but there was spillage. Because I have never used Microsoft Paint before, I have illustrated a picture.  


My car was not totaled, but it took a good 45 days to get it fixed, and just wasn't the same after that.

Wreck 2: Fast forward 11 months, April 2008.  I was living in a new area and my Mom and her friends had come to visit.  While they were enjoying the sights of the city, I decide to leave work early.  I called my Mom to see where she was. At a museum of course, and while she was talking , I interrupted with a "SSSHHHH*TTTTT. I gotta go Mom, I just hit a bus."  Talking on the phone whilst driving apparently is NOT a best practice.  I wasn't paying attention and next thing you know,  BAM.  Needless to say she got very upset when I said I hit a bus and called me back 30 seconds later saying, "We're in a cab, we're coming to get you!"  Mom to the rescue!  I told her I was fine, I had to deal with this then I would come meet them.   My car had slid right under the back of the bus actually lifting it up.  My car looked like hell, but the bus was fine.
I have never seen people unload off a bus like they did after I hit it. But they all seemed hell bent on NOT staying to give a statement.  Since I hit a city vehicle, we had to wait for the authorities. So for 2 hours it was me, my boss, who came to sit with me since I was near my office, and the driver.  We had to sit on the bus since it was raining. I got to know Maurice quite well in those 2 hours which proved beneficial for me.  When the police arrived he explained that it had just started raining and my tires just didn't react fast enough; not at fault!! Thank you Maruice! Every time I would see him on his route near my office he would wave. 
Again, I have created a picture! 


Wreck 3: May 2008, I got a good amount of money for my little red car.  So 2 weeks later, I became a real live adult and bought a car.  I was so proud, I had gotten approved for a loan, done my research, and decided on what I wanted.  Not only was I living away from my parents, but I had bought a car without their help (emotionally, not financially... don't judge). I left work early to go get the emissions test on my car.  Just so you get the idea of how new the car was, I was still driving around with temporary tags.  5 minutes into my drive, I got stuck in traffic. I was the last car to get through a light in a long line of traffic.  As I looked through my rear view mirror I saw I HUGE truck barreling down the road. Why was he going so fast?  Can he not see that no one is moving and the light is still red? He could not and did not.  I saw him getting closer so I put my 2 feet on the brake, grabbed the steering wheel with two hand, closed my eyes and clenched my jaw.  BOOM!  He hit me.  Hard. 
I did not panic. I retrieved all my insurance information, drivers license, etc. I was a pro at this by now.  The last thing I wanted to do was wait for the police to come an assess the scene. And based on the reaction of the 2 passengers in the moving truck, I got the feeling they weren't actually in this country legally. I was beginning to loose my cool and needed to leave. So even though my back bumper was essentially in the trunk, I drove back to work.  I needed a place to calm down before I drove the 20 miles to get home.  I called my husband, my then boyfriend, and as soon as I heard his voice I broke down.  He was 2 hours away playing golf with his company.  I said, "I'm ok. The car is not." He took off from the 4th hole and came straight home to meet me. What a guy?!  Another illustration for your viewing pleasure. 
Again, my boss was there to help. She said, "Here, take this Valium. I don't want you driving while your all hysterical." I know that might sound a little backwards, who drives on Valium? Well, it worked for me. 

So let's summarize this, a speeding ticket with my mom in the car and wrecks with a mulch truck, metro bus and moving truck.  Bring it on Nascar, you can't scare me with your 2 axles and your non-diesel engines.

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