What’s in a name?

I have a “normal” name. As in, I had the experience in school where I had to go by my first name and last initial because someone else in my class had the same name and I hated that! Anyway, now that I am married, I now have a common first and last name. I have to say, I am fine with it. More and more you hear about celebrities naming their children strange names like Apple, Bear, and Pilot Inspektor – I’m looking at you Jason Lee.  My view is, to each his own, BUT… may I suggest creating a focus group of 7-12 year olds to come up with nicknames for your future children.  I made the mistake of telling my husband that I liked the name Lake.  He immediately went off on a tangent about how boys would say, “Take a dip in the Lake,” and something about dropping an anchor. Enough said, I took that name off the imaginary table for our imaginary kids.  So apparently my husband could be in the focus group too!  But I just don’t think parents think enough about nicknames when coming up with a formal name for their children.  This is serious business people. 

I have come across a few very hilarious names that are just funny on their own, no need to even come up with a nickname. For example:

• Draper Lovelady
• Bettina Batista
• Valda Valbrum
• Brown Johnson
• My personal favorite: Kiffen Butz

Then there are those repetitive and word-play names.  For the women, I sympathize that you were committed enough to change your name for your husband and are now

• Candy Pear
• Holly Day
• Robin Robinson
• Holly Holiday 

It takes a very confident woman to do that. 

For men, get a court order and change your name because I cannot take you serious if your name is

• John Johnson
• Steve Stevenson
• Harris Harrison
• Robert Robertson

Then there are the common names with uncommon spellings. This will just make your offspring’s life a living hell have to spell their name for the rest of their LIFE.

• Kamryn – It’s Cameron.
• Alyson – We all know it’s usually Alison or Allison – stick with one of those.
• Brittany – the most accepted spelling, but there is Brittni/Britney/Britny/Britnee – Why are there so many options??  It all sounds the SAME!!!
• Kemystri – a. I know this isn’t common, but I’ve actually come across this name b. this should never be a name. c. It’s Chemistry.
• Don’t even get me started on Megan.   

Use this post as a Public Service Announcement and think about it before you go naming your child  Russell Nail, aka Rusty Nail.


**All of these names are real. I can't make this up.  Any names you want to share?