Relationsh*t

Things change when you get married or start living with your significant other.  Small things. Things that didn’t bother you before now glare at you like you are in a showcase showdown for the prize that includes the car and vacation.  My husband got messier when we moved in together.  His excuse? I used to call when I was outside so he could let me in the building.  This gave him a good 30 seconds of picking up all the clothes off the floor and putting his dishes in the sink.  I used to think. Wow, I am so lucky to have a guy who is so neat and clean. Once he even foam-cleaned the couch.  I thought, this is awesome. I have found some one who is as clean as me. 

Wrong.

We moved into a 2 bedroom place so he could have an office since he mainly works from home.  Before, his desk was in his bedroom so there was no room to be messy. Now, he has his own space to stretch out and it. is. scary.  It’s amazing how much shit he can amass in 2 days, from coke cans to McDonald’s bags, to Chinese food caked on a plate.  The glasses with coke sit for so long the coke actually becomes a syrup.  It will turn you off from soda my friends. 

And now with no desk in the bedroom the clothes pile up.  It amazes me. The hamper is literally 4 feet away in the closet.  How can he not manage to get the clothes in there??

How did this happen so quickly?  And why didn’t I see it coming?  I now find myself in my own imaginary stand-off with the shoes on the floor, and glasses of gin and tonic on the coffee table.  I never win.  I crumble under the pressure of someone showing up unexpectedly and seeing our mess. 

I will say when it’s time to clean up for the cleaning ladies, he does a great job.  He also irons his own clothes, which is one of my most hated chores. 

Update: I wrote this a while ago and we have since moved into a bigger place and my husband no longer works from home.  Things have changed in the following ways:

• The coke cans/glasses now amass on the bedside table.
• Now that the hamper is in the bedroom and not the closet, he leaves all his clothes on the floor in the closet.
• I still lose in ALL standoffs with said glasses and stray clothing.