Wardrobe Malfunctions

We have all had our share of regrets when it comes to clothing choices.  For me, there's that outfit I wore to me very first dance.  I was 12 and 2 months into a new school.  My mom and I thought long and hard about what I would wear.  We decided to go classic: ivory pleated knee skirt, ivory tights, ivory Sam and Libby shoes (you know, the flats with the bow), a navy Limited Too sweater adorned with the American flag, and a white turtleneck.  Classic, elegant, clueless.

Who didn't have a pair of these in the 90s?

Have you ever had a malfunction?  I have.  A few years ago, I was with friends in Memphis for the weekend.  It was summer, so it was hotter that Hades so I dressed accordingly; white shorts, cute silk spaghetti strap top, and heels.  We were at dinner when I noticed the state of one of the straps on my shirt.  It seemed a little... stressed.  Seeing that I was in denial that spaghetti straps could hold my "girls," I thought, 'maybe I'll have my Mom look at this when I get home.'
Fast forward to a few hours later, and we were at Raiford's. I can't get into it now, but Raiford's deserves its own post for all of you who have never heard of it. Ok, real quick, here's your snapshot: White leather couches, smoke, light up dance floor, and nothing but 40s of beer.  So we're at Raiford's, dancing like rock stars, when it happened.  Yup, that poor spaghetti strap that was holding on for dear like broke... and my boob popped out.  There it was.  My girlfriend, being the awesome friend that she is, immediately covered me and we went to the bathroom.

I believe this is Raiford himself. 

It was at least 2 a.m., so our critical thinking skills were definitely sub-par at this point.  My friend did her best at some quick thinking. "I have some gum. I can chew it and use it as a sticky." -- This isn't a leaky faucet, this is a C-cup.  "I have a tampon. Can we use that to tie it together or something?" --I have just embarrassed myself by "exposing" myself at a bar, a tampon tied to my shirt is the last thing I need right now.  We ended up leaving the bar of course, party foul (me) had no way to fix my situation.  There is a classic picture from the cab ride on the way home of 2 of my friends, and there in the corner, you can see my shoulder and the strap about 2 inches north of the top of the shirt.  Even though my mom did end up fixing the shirt, I could never bring myself to wear it again. I was to scared of a repeat.